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[04 May 2005|07:11pm] |
HA HA HA ... i was kicked out. Kicked out of being someones "buddy"... HAHA HAAA uh,hmm... ?
.Selfish shell-fish.
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[29 Apr 2005|12:29pm] |
hmm... I can't say i feel this anymore. I can't say i know whats going to happen. I can't say this is all a risk. I can't see whats not here. I can't say whats not been said. I can't feel whats not been felt. i can't hold on to what... doesn't exist.
canopeners can't open her.
okay?
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| you want a yellow card? |
[28 Apr 2005|12:23am] |
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mood |
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 you'll change it anyway. |
] |
pop a bottle when no one wants to drink. Eat an apple when everyone is full. Wearing a tie. The only bird who can swim won't fly.
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| .Breahting Sin. |
[15 Apr 2005|01:14pm] |
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mood |
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Talktrashtothegarbagearoundyou |
] |
the numbers grow everyday they become even greater. its starting over ....but they won't add up, the figures are wrong the timing is off with your skin falling from its bone.no one can stop whats been done.
The days are divided like the minutes pushing hours. ... like when you don't know your world is being destroyed and yet the life still remains to ponder more or less on how it can grow BETTER... how will it GO down!!?! whats the punch bowl if there really is no alternate ending. whats your face doing so far from your body ... wheres your mind when the mirrors don't reflect.
Darkness seems like a sign of an end...? destruction feels like the rise of fear?... loneliness leads to sanity?.Patience only procrastinates?... Life only dies? ... peace is so far from reality?.
I almost believed there was structure beyond the illusions.
Fight the monster who reaps your family... Kill the beast that robs your dreams. Destroy the voice who weakens your soul.Tear the walls of those behind hate. Turn the wheel of those Bitter and confused. Plant seeds in the garden of flowers. Eat there words and speak your MIND.
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| Speak Latin ...Talk to Cows... grow old.. cold showers |
[13 Apr 2005|09:11am] |
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mood |
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 be sane soon... |
] |
Dis-figured in a away that effects my mind. My head hurts with my hands tied to a tree... "light a Fire" speaks darknes. i don't understand why it has to be so side-ways. Everything has to be out of control before i can find peace. things have to be going good just long enough so something can get fucked up .. People have to judge me just as long as i keep my thoughts to my self. "Yeah i know what you really are"..... I spit into the darknes. YOUR NO BETTER it replies ... and of corse the voices laugh at me.
Too dark to tell who really is one with heart. who really cares. live in your homes and make your people happy with face. with your bodys. But the hearts feel empty. I know that i feel lost..... as a bodys whos soul has been reaped. yeah! so as it is....
I say what i say ... I stand when i stand. I sit where i sit. i just hope i never get caught up as now. I feel tangled ... so many choices so much changing ... and YET the one person i want more then anything to be well could smile as the floor drops and the rope snapes tight.
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| Three Feet On Dry Land |
[18 Mar 2005|09:20am] |
Life can get in your way. Yeah it can! .. Its lame that it takes a blade to make us see,cutting off the slack,cutting away those vines.
I try to stand tall with my head up ... i try to sit back and relax...
but
Its not working, This machine we call our bodys our selves ... the times are now and they are not perfect... im not the only one with their hands in a ball.
I have a dark very dark place in my mind were everything is upside down ... i see things not for what they are, its what they do,or make me feel that i notice them.
Abstract if you will,
In this up-side-down plane of mine.
The downcast eye is blinded by the sun.
the frown is mistaken for a smile hidding behind logos and sub-titles.
The ugly child in the shadows is the source of all the light. The doors are windows into fields, only rooms.
The voices spell out pictures. The pictures voice their opinion. The opinion replaces the facts. The facts invite a myth. A myth drinks coffee in a Bar. The Bar is nothing but a pole.
Standing tall is like blending in. Feeling good is dropping out. Dropping out tires and road spikes. Running a way more like standing still ...To say you are alive is to confess you are dead. waiting for death is preparing to live.
Seeing is nothing more then information and information is not always the basic truth. what is seen is not always a still framed photo to claim reality. The things we hear are not always there... whos to say the bird i can't seem to find is nothing short of a thought.. could it not be a voice? ... could that churp, that growl, that bark, that squeek, those sounds be saying something i need to hear, so i hear it but mistake it for beauty insted of an answer
hmmm way to far ..... Waaaaay Toooo Faarr...
The deeper i get the less breath i have to resurface. Unless i learn to breath down here.but the again what feels like deep could be very shallow.
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| I ONCE WON A GRAND |
[25 Feb 2005|06:11pm] |
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mood |
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 " Fainted Through Day-Dream" |
] |
Never done nothing by-my-self. I nEED A BLUE COLLAR.. White would be nice .....
TOOLEN AROUND >>>>Use your Fool.
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| SoEverythingISasIsEeiT |
[18 Feb 2005|05:01pm] |
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mood |
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 Major: DizBe. LeaF. |
] |
18//////Fish
Whats going on inside this head ... Everything is one as it comes Two. Another. separate identity .... Who is it that they follow , dreaming, two/tenth of something i am sure i heard that thier are pieces to that puzzle.
And still what'd i say ? ... Things are missing from this (two-toned-painted-lot)through Fantasy. Is it not ?... do dreams (as we think) mean anything ,Let alone. even more. Greater then.Left Lesser then nothing?.
Who know's, even as it breaths it's stench into the already panic Filled, fearless, Turbulent air. Its changes... its waiting.. anticipating true and honest. too tha degree of content ...
...(Exactly as some might see it ... Some-ONe-Thing Is Defiantly Breaking UP ........!!!!)
...OUR LIVES.
MIster R.F ... " I see They're Counting on them " ...
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[15 Feb 2005|01:01am] |
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mood |
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Feet First... |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Bat Doom Doom Dat Dat BaTDoom Dat.. |
] |
I'm starting to notice my head aching more often then not ...
I don't know if it has anything to do with anything, just that it bothers me ...
The Spores ...The Mold that grows in damp wooded areas...
Flash back a back flash ... Tiny beams Sprinkle purple and blue. The suns bright blinding the eyes, The air felt clean, still breathing pain, the chest burns. Bad habits die restless leaving the spirit bitter and dry... water is a mile walk the opposite direction...
....Does soul food really help you feel any better.too,
why the hell is there Colored "Gold Fish"? ... WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO US !?!
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| New Pen! |
[05 Feb 2005|03:17am] |
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mood |
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GooD EnougH |
] |
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music |
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Dead silent |
] |
|::|Time speaks@THREE-FORTY|::|
The noisy Second Hand very predictable and all so busy, doing most of the work by it's self. A lazy hand is a useless hand, unless its soft.Clocks get all the credit,So..we hang 'em. Card tricks are so misleading. victims of illusions clap hands too admire charisma,gracefully admitting defeat.
Name tags serve purpose as getting books from the library requires a card. Debt is a very stressful situation ... quicksand&dollorsighns.
Tickets, I don't mind, as long as i can bring a friend..
Walked in a green field this afternoon. A Two-bi-four nailed between two trees. Construction workers very busy, all color coordinated wearing Lime Green Shirts. .. don't really like the word Zilch.Makes me smile.
Naughty under tree's... Like laying on grass?
^__<>__^
yeEh???
.. thats right .. when i HAVE to stand in front of a farly large assortment of Persons / people ...Its usally that i would need to sound professional Or at least have an idea of what or why I should Even be Talking ...
... Class project: subject: "Brain Stem" The Central part of your brain is also the oldest part of your brain, If you were to CUT the top half off the brain stem of a Cat(or animal) its breathing and vital signs Could still function ...(that would of been the best way i could of said it.) Soo, I Said something very close too......
??? [ Something something]... "BRAIN STEM?" .. {Mumble through a crack in my voice [swallow a dry spot]}.... "A cats," [something something] "Cut off" ...[ Mummbling quieter ] ... "could Survive without"... [Blahhh] ...[Blahhh-blahh]... [Blah]..
Concluded my rambling... Too end with_____ "Uh'an,Thats all ...{[SAW class]paused and swallowed once more} " _______ Im done. Thank you."
The Social-Phobia; an outstanding performance... I DO..,Too be MUCH PROUD of ERICA.Her effort 09/10.. And too think she'd wanted to skip SKool....-1
It happens on thursdays, I should GET OVER"et....
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